Ugly bulbs

For the first time in a few years I have been growing an amaryllis lily.  When I planted the huge ugly bulb 5 weeks ago in a pot that was almost as big as the bulb I had forgotten what an extraordinary process it is watching the stem, bud and flowers emerge.  The stems are now 72cm!  And the flowers that have been opening in the last few days are quite beautiful. Who would have imagined all that life and beauty was waiting to burst free?  Certainly the look on my little nephews face when I showed him the bulb at Christmas said something along the lines of 'you must be mad, that is like the worst and weirdest Christmas present in the world!'


A couple of weeks ago my sermon was on 2 Corinthians 5.11-21.  In that passage, we are reminded that Jesus looked like nothing special, but turned out to be God, and so we should learn from this not to judge people by what we see.  God is at work in people bringing new life (new acts of creation the verse says). It can be pretty discouraging sometimes looking around at the world, wondering if things are going to change or whether they will stay ugly and broken.  And then I look at myself, and think about the changes that God has helped bring about in me, sometimes in the blink of an eye and sometimes in the imperceptible process of reflection, repentance and forgiveness.  We all look pretty ugly inside from certain angles, maybe in places so hidden from others that only God sees.  But watching my lily grow reminds me that God is not fazed by the ugly and the broken, because God sees the potential of life and beauty held within that and always wants to call it forth.

Bad habits, holy orders

I wonder if you watched the recent Channel 5 series: Bad Habits, Holy Orders? For 4 weeks it followed a group of 5 young women as they went from 'selfie' driven lives that for most included hard partying, regular one night stands, and high-spend shopping, to life in a convent with a group of nuns. In some ways the story followed an expected trajectory, shock at being separated from phones and makeup, and adapting to living simple lives of prayer and practical work with very little spending money. Then rebellion and handling the motivations behind that, all of which resulted in quite a moving growing relationship between the women and the nuns.  However it was the third episode that struck me at quite a profound level.

The nuns sent the women off on 'mission' to other convents where they were to help out with work amongst elderly people and homeless people.  For most of the women it was the first time they had spoken to people who lived such different lives to them. And quite a beautiful thing happened. Each young woman, in her own way, began to find herself. And for some it was quite a dramatic transformation.  And it helped me realise this....the culture that we find ourselves in is one that wants to consume us. Our image is graded by the level of positive response it receives, our value is determined by the amount of money we can spend, our personal attractiveness is based on swipes to the right or number of sexual partners. For the young women on the programme the gap between the person that was being consumed and who they actually were had almost become unbridgeable. These women were giving what they felt the world wanted to consume, but the bridge back to finding themselves was to really give of themselves. 


The young women could take or leave the prayer and being part of the worshipping lives of the nuns. What they deeply needed was the love of a 'stranger' someone not compelled to love them, but someone who loved and valued them as the women they were beneath their appearances. The nuns were concerned for the who the women were becoming, they were concerned for their characters, and to encourage them to really think about what they valued. For me this is the gospel, the good news of God. The bible talks about God looking on our hearts, not being concerned about physical appearance or what others might say about a person (see 1 Samuel 16.7 or John 2.25 for example). Why is this important? Because God truly knows us. The gospel tells us that God created us as good people designed to be in relationship with God participating in the divine life where each person is valued for the unique place they have in fulness of life for all people and all creation. This fulness of life means being able to give of who you are out of love for God, love for others and love for yourself. 


The narrative of our culture which says 'give me what I want' is a narrative that consumes, not fulfils. For the young women on this programme, the gospel brought transformation, because it showed them the freedom that comes from a new narrative, a story of self-giving. A self-giving that reveals and fulfils who we are.




The series is still available here on catch up: http://www.channel5.com/show/bad-habits-holy-orders/

Manchester

View of Manchester from the Cathedral © Robert Watson



This morning I put on my dog collar with a heavy heart and a sense of trepidation. What does it mean to wake up in the morning, as a vicar, to hear the news of an attack like the suicide bombing in Manchester? After initial prayers for those caught up in the bombing, thoughts turn to your own community. What effect will it have on people here? And what words can I offer into that? The swirl of your own distress about what has happened somehow needs to be oriented towards God. Within an hour, the first conversation, a man walking home with his paper, feeling like nowhere is safe now. Also not knowing how to respond. I urge him to do good and believe in the goodness of others. Because that is apparent too. One bomber versus thousands of people helping because they were there, or it is their job, or they could do something small to help another. Twitter full of offers of beds, tea and phones. A narrative of hate, some would say evil, juxtaposed with a narrative of love, care and compassion.

And so this is where I begin when I think about our world. The truth is that we all carry within us a mixture of love and hate, of good and bad. We all have a choice about which direction we want to move towards, to love more or to hate more, to do good things more often or bad things more often. I wish I was more consistent in my choices, but even the most consistent person does not live a perfect life of love and goodness. And what are we to do about this? In a bomber we might see the magnification of a hate that we sometimes see in ourselves. In a grandfather who swoops down to keep an unknown young girl safe until he can find a way to reunite her with her parents we see a magnification of care and love that we sometimes see in ourselves.

And this is why the Christian story gives me hope. Because it is a story of original goodness. It is a story that both recognises the extraordinary value of every life, and this capability we all have of choosing to do good things and bad things. It is a story of a God who loves and cares so much about people that these good and bad choices are not left hanging, but are gathered up by One who judges justly. And in this gathering up also offers the opportunity of repentance and forgiveness. I cannot give an answer to why bad things happen, but my trust is in a God who can hold all that together and calls us into a story of hope and redemption.

The God who sees me



(Photo: Steve McCurry, National Geographic)

“I feel like God has seen me.” These words were spoken to me by one of the women after the Free Range Chicks conference in November. We had had a wonderful couple of days, and it is this simple but powerful statement has stayed with me. When she said it, I thought immediately of Hagar in Genesis 16. Pregnant and alone, she has fled from abuse into the wilderness. And there, by a spring, God sends an angel to her who tells her about the son she will have, and tells her she must return to the camp. The encounter leads her to worship this God who has seen her. What an amazing thing!


Hagar was a woman, a slave, pregnant and vulnerable. Running from the people she knew, she would have had no hope for the future. It was likely that she and the baby would have been killed if they had been found, or they would’ve died in the wilderness. She was worthless in the sight of the world. But one who looks with different eyes had seen her. The God who seeks out the one missing sheep, the God who comes to seek and save the lost, this God was watching. The effect of this God seeing her, telling her He knew all about her, and giving her hope for the future was powerful. She calls God ‘the God who sees me’ or ‘who looks after me’, and wonders how she can still be alive despite having seen this God herself. An encounter with God the Almighty One should have been the final straw meaning certain death for someone who thought they were worthless, but it is the opposite. Suddenly she realises that she has value in the eyes of God. God has found her, and literally turns her life around, sending her back with purpose. When we allow ourselves to be seen by God, it opens our eyes to who we really are. God is our Creator and so understands utterly who we are. He has mercy on our failings and reveals who He has called us to be. This can and should give us the confidence to become that woman or man. It is a powerful gift to be seen for who we really are.


As we move towards Christmas in the rush of life, my prayer for you is that you will find a moment to be still. Perhaps take that moment now to pause and become aware of God with you. Become aware that this is the God who sees you. And allow that realisation to change you. The God who sees you is the one who loves you. This Christmas time this is God’s gift to you, that you are seen, really seen, by Him.