Faces

I was so engaged in Tanzania with the smiles and openness of people’s faces. It was so lovely to see the joy and laughter pouring out of people, and on the flip side to see when people were bored, fed-up or sad.  The contrast to the UK where people seem much more 'closed' was striking.  I wonder if this openness is partly due to the absence at the moment of cameras, and to a degree mirrors...  Following the #liedentity conference I was thinking about our obsession in the UK with our image.  Studies, for example, show that people take an average of 7 minutes to post a selfie, this involves selecting one image from a number of photos, applying filters and choosing good hashtags. I wonder how much this attention to how we look impacts on how we control our facial expressions?

People have often told me I smile a lot.  Even getting off the aeroplane this trip one of the air hostesses stopped me and said 'thank you for smiling - every time I saw you you were smiling'.  Is it really that unusual?!

Having seen the faces of people in Tanzania, I cannot really remember seeing people looking anxious. There were certainly plenty of things to potentially be worried about there with the level of poverty and limited infrastructure. The existence was much more day to day and felt to me much more outside personal control. There was a big contrast with the situations of relative affluence around me in the UK where we believe to an extent we can provide for ourselves and control our lives.  I wonder how much this illusion of control is anxiety inducing?  When Jesus talks in Matthew 6.24-35 about not being anxious food or clothes but instead seeking first the kingdom of God, the passage ends: therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
We in the UK and those in Tanzania all have plenty of troubles to face, some similar and some different, but we are all meant to be living lives in partnership with God and each other.  To do this well we have to be vulnerable, and to be vulnerable is to shake off the desire to control both our image and our independence.  A carefully controlled image will only ever separate us from others, as it becomes harder to maintain integrity between our inner life and what we allow others to see.

Water

On Thursday I visited Winchester Cathedral for the first time. In the crypt there is a sculpture by Antony Gormley which, depending on the level of flooding from the river, looks like it is standing in or on the water. The figure is looking at water in its hand, and the combination of seeing that and the burial casket of King Canute made me think... 

I liked the story of King Canute as a child. Although considered to be apocryphal it is profoundly important. Canute is reported as having his throne set in front of the incoming tide and commanding the water to come no further. Of course it continued and covered his feet and wet his robes. We don't often hear the rest of the story which was him turning to his courtiers and saying: 'Let all men know how empty and worthless is the power of kings, for there is none worthy of the name, but He whom heaven, earth and sea obey.' He knew that only God is the one who holds true power and authority over all creation. However much power and authority a human being has, it is nothing compared to that of God. And so the story goes Canute understood that his kingship was in service of the King of Kings. There is a lot to learn from his example!

Jesus could command the storm to cease and the waves to still. He has the power and authority to command all creation to obey Him. And yet what does He do for us? He comes to wash our feet and die so we might live. He calls us into a relationship of mercy, forgiveness and love. This is the power of the cross, the wisdom of God which seems so foolish to us because we want to grab power and hold control over others.

So taking time to look at a handful of water and realise who I am and who God is, seems a wise thing to do.

Meditating on control (or: God is not pants)

Sales of control pants over the last few years have rocketed in the UK both for men and women.  Is this a sign of our desire to control things that are not quite the way we want them to be?  Control pants (made famous by Bridget Jones) do the job of hiding the evidence of excess without you having to make the effort to change your diet or to exercise.  They give the quick fix that our culture always seems to be looking for.

So, this got me thinking about the nature of control.

Rowan Williams talks about us all chasing an illusion which is that we are in control of our lives.  He says that the act of baptism addresses this because it is the immersion of ourselves back into the chaos of the waters from which only God can bring order. God is the one enthroned over the flood (Ps 29:10), who hovers over the chaos (Gen 1:2) and brings it under control (see the rest of Gen 1).



I just re-read Romans 6.  Paul is pretty explicit that baptism is joining Jesus in His death so that sin has no control over us any longer.

Jesus at the moment of His death was the least in control He could possibly be.  Crucified, immobile, subject to the control of so many human desires imposed upon him; we should not be surprised that the light went out in the cosmos and that chaos and darkness reigned until the moment Jesus said: It is finished. Control is broken. Light returns. A new creation is made.

We become our most free - most in control perhaps? - when we give up all control to God (Jesus said whoever loses his life for my sake will find it - Matt 10:39).  It is an extraordinary thing that as we say 'not my will but yours be done', as we turn to Jesus and at the cross give him all our sin and lies, pretense and self-justification; we find forgiveness and truth, reality and newness of life. The expanse of his mercy knows no bounds; thinking about this kind of makes me want to kneel in humility and dance with praise at the same time!

So this is my prayer at the moment, for the illusion of control to be destroyed in my life and to become a new creation again and again trusting in God above all things.