Faces

I was so engaged in Tanzania with the smiles and openness of people’s faces. It was so lovely to see the joy and laughter pouring out of people, and on the flip side to see when people were bored, fed-up or sad.  The contrast to the UK where people seem much more 'closed' was striking.  I wonder if this openness is partly due to the absence at the moment of cameras, and to a degree mirrors...  Following the #liedentity conference I was thinking about our obsession in the UK with our image.  Studies, for example, show that people take an average of 7 minutes to post a selfie, this involves selecting one image from a number of photos, applying filters and choosing good hashtags. I wonder how much this attention to how we look impacts on how we control our facial expressions?

People have often told me I smile a lot.  Even getting off the aeroplane this trip one of the air hostesses stopped me and said 'thank you for smiling - every time I saw you you were smiling'.  Is it really that unusual?!

Having seen the faces of people in Tanzania, I cannot really remember seeing people looking anxious. There were certainly plenty of things to potentially be worried about there with the level of poverty and limited infrastructure. The existence was much more day to day and felt to me much more outside personal control. There was a big contrast with the situations of relative affluence around me in the UK where we believe to an extent we can provide for ourselves and control our lives.  I wonder how much this illusion of control is anxiety inducing?  When Jesus talks in Matthew 6.24-35 about not being anxious food or clothes but instead seeking first the kingdom of God, the passage ends: therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
We in the UK and those in Tanzania all have plenty of troubles to face, some similar and some different, but we are all meant to be living lives in partnership with God and each other.  To do this well we have to be vulnerable, and to be vulnerable is to shake off the desire to control both our image and our independence.  A carefully controlled image will only ever separate us from others, as it becomes harder to maintain integrity between our inner life and what we allow others to see.

#liedentity

Today I have been at the #liedentity conference run by the Diocese of Gloucester (click here for more details). The campaign around this hashtag is addressing the growing issue of negative body image and the resulting mental and physical health difficulties especially for young people. The message the campaign is promoting is that who you are is more important than how you look. Not that appearance doesn't matter, but our image-focused society is over-emphasising this. 


I was struck by the degree of inevitability of this shift with the advent of social media. When our relationships are conducted at arms length, and often now with people we don't physically meet, then the image we project has the potential to become much more significant than our character. And yet what came out so strongly today was that when young people were given the tools and opportunity to say what they valued in each other the real basis for deep friendship and true identity was revealed.  And of course it was never about the way someone looked.


So my challenge coming away from today, that I challenge you with too, is to be less lazy in my conversation, particularly with young people.  If I really value the person I am talking to, it is not enough to say, 'that's a pretty dress', or 'love that jacket on you', or 'that makes you look so slim'. These are nice things to say, but they are all about valuing appearance.  What about asking why they chose to wear them, or just go for a different conversation starter: what has made you smile today? What's the best thing about living here? What were you thinking about when you woke up this morning?


The Christian story is one that believes in the uniqueness and value of each person, and is totally committed to healing and restoring relationships between us and God, between each of us, and between us and creation.  This is only possible when we know, value and love who we are, and are truly interested in knowing, valuing and loving others. So take a risk, be vulnerable, and get to know someone deeper than through their appearance.

Ugly bulbs

For the first time in a few years I have been growing an amaryllis lily.  When I planted the huge ugly bulb 5 weeks ago in a pot that was almost as big as the bulb I had forgotten what an extraordinary process it is watching the stem, bud and flowers emerge.  The stems are now 72cm!  And the flowers that have been opening in the last few days are quite beautiful. Who would have imagined all that life and beauty was waiting to burst free?  Certainly the look on my little nephews face when I showed him the bulb at Christmas said something along the lines of 'you must be mad, that is like the worst and weirdest Christmas present in the world!'


A couple of weeks ago my sermon was on 2 Corinthians 5.11-21.  In that passage, we are reminded that Jesus looked like nothing special, but turned out to be God, and so we should learn from this not to judge people by what we see.  God is at work in people bringing new life (new acts of creation the verse says). It can be pretty discouraging sometimes looking around at the world, wondering if things are going to change or whether they will stay ugly and broken.  And then I look at myself, and think about the changes that God has helped bring about in me, sometimes in the blink of an eye and sometimes in the imperceptible process of reflection, repentance and forgiveness.  We all look pretty ugly inside from certain angles, maybe in places so hidden from others that only God sees.  But watching my lily grow reminds me that God is not fazed by the ugly and the broken, because God sees the potential of life and beauty held within that and always wants to call it forth.

The God who sees me



(Photo: Steve McCurry, National Geographic)

“I feel like God has seen me.” These words were spoken to me by one of the women after the Free Range Chicks conference in November. We had had a wonderful couple of days, and it is this simple but powerful statement has stayed with me. When she said it, I thought immediately of Hagar in Genesis 16. Pregnant and alone, she has fled from abuse into the wilderness. And there, by a spring, God sends an angel to her who tells her about the son she will have, and tells her she must return to the camp. The encounter leads her to worship this God who has seen her. What an amazing thing!


Hagar was a woman, a slave, pregnant and vulnerable. Running from the people she knew, she would have had no hope for the future. It was likely that she and the baby would have been killed if they had been found, or they would’ve died in the wilderness. She was worthless in the sight of the world. But one who looks with different eyes had seen her. The God who seeks out the one missing sheep, the God who comes to seek and save the lost, this God was watching. The effect of this God seeing her, telling her He knew all about her, and giving her hope for the future was powerful. She calls God ‘the God who sees me’ or ‘who looks after me’, and wonders how she can still be alive despite having seen this God herself. An encounter with God the Almighty One should have been the final straw meaning certain death for someone who thought they were worthless, but it is the opposite. Suddenly she realises that she has value in the eyes of God. God has found her, and literally turns her life around, sending her back with purpose. When we allow ourselves to be seen by God, it opens our eyes to who we really are. God is our Creator and so understands utterly who we are. He has mercy on our failings and reveals who He has called us to be. This can and should give us the confidence to become that woman or man. It is a powerful gift to be seen for who we really are.


As we move towards Christmas in the rush of life, my prayer for you is that you will find a moment to be still. Perhaps take that moment now to pause and become aware of God with you. Become aware that this is the God who sees you. And allow that realisation to change you. The God who sees you is the one who loves you. This Christmas time this is God’s gift to you, that you are seen, really seen, by Him.